Blue seems to be my color lately..

..well, actually purple and yellow both look better on me, but that is beyond the point
I've been feeling lonely, of late. Dunno why, just been kind of down and, y'know, lonely. There isn't really another way to put it.
I'm pretty nervous for my upcoming singing recital. It's on June 2nd, and we're gonna be in a new room, (It's real big with a spotlight and the audience is in the dark) and allot of people that I know are coming, and what if I don't live up to their expectations? What if they are expecting this amazing broadway or operatic talent? Becuase I just don't have that voice... I'm getting there, real slow like, but I'm probably singing songs a little beyond my level. And think I sound alright singing them, and My teacher says I am doing awesome on them, but what if she's leading me on? How so I know if anyone is truly being honest with me, if I have no proof to go up against?
I guess that is what is called blind faith, which I think I have a small problem with. I told my Mum this and she said, "How do you know that I love you?"
So I thought about and came to the conclusion that I didn't know.
But know, as I think about it, I think I do. I feel it in every fiber and piece of my body, and I don't believe it without question. I have asked her before, "Do you love me?" and I have asked the same question in my head, but I know that she does.
So then, is blind faith when you believe in something without question?
I'm so confused.
Because if I start to think that nothing is solid, because I have no proof, it's like the world is crumbling away. So, I have to believe, if only in the ground and the sky and air. Y'know?
Yeah, I've been feeling philosophical lately.

I'm also a little worried. I really only have two really good friends, so naturally I'm a little possessive. And I don't want to drift apart and not hang out anymore, and grow up apart. And I'm scared that's going to happen soon. Because I don't really have anyone else, so I think I would miss them a lot if that happened.
So that's what has been lying heavily on my mind for awhile, now.